As a choice few people know…..I have a panda called Winston.

He’s not a real panda of course. I didn’t buy him from some underground pet shop in Soho. Although I am sure such places may exist….but maybe not in the selling of pandas….I think people would notice all the bamboo.

Winston is a rescue panda. He was rescued from IKEA.

Never fear….those Swedes didn’t have him doing hard labour for minimum wage in a highly unfashionable shade of yellow….they weren’t that cruel. But I did find him in the kids department, looking a little lonely and dejected, although surrounded by his peers.

You see, Winston wasn’t like the other pandas in IKEA. They all looked the same with their perfect little symmetrical faces, fat tummys and little tails. Winston….well….he is grumpy.

His face has obviously been stitched wrong and that has given him the expression of a bear whose bamboo has been taken and he has a shotgun and will be killing squirrels on the hour, every hour, until someone tells him WHERE IT IS!

My boyfriend and I had to buy him, because I feared that nobody else would. His little face would’ve been so sad if he had to watch all the other perfect pandas leave the store before him. He’d get a complex and then possibly feel like ending it all. I didn’t want that blood on my hands. We didn’t have a panda on the list….it’s not something one thinks about when they have gone shopping for new kitchen paraphernalia, but I knew we needed to own him.

So Winston was bought, and saved from embarrassment of being the only panda left in IKEA.

And we named him Winston due to his uncanny likeness to Ray Winstone…legendary Brit actor.

And even though he’s not perfect, we think he’s wonderful exactly how he is.

Winston was very unhappy that we didn’t have Fox’s Biscuits….


8 responses to “Winston

  1. Pingback: A-Z of The Pigeon | Musings from the Pigeon's Nest

  2. Winston must be Travln Panda’s brother…. or perhaps Winston is his cross cousin. Travln is on Facebook maybe they could be friends.

    • I’m afraid Winston is far too grumpy to be on facebook, he has been removed several times by Mr Zuckerberg for having ‘a face like a slapped arse’. Loved looking at Travln’s page. He is seeing the world!

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  4. Bahahaha. Winston is my new favourite panda. Can’t remember who my old favourite panda was, but that’s irrelevant now anyway – it’s Winston all the way from now on! xxx

    • He couldn’t even muster a grin for that comment, the grumpy git, and he also wishes he wasn’t currently wearing a fricking tiara… I think he looks smexy..

  5. I have an Ikea rescue panda as well. He is called percy and is quite ferocious. But we are trying to tame his scary ways, otherwise he feels like part of the family. He is a cool panda. Good to know that one of his brothers is doing well.

    • We now feed Winston Fox’s biscuits….it has seemed to help…..also we have given him a pet dolphin called Igor, who has one eye bigger than the other….it has soothed him somewhat…. Glad to hear that Percy has a good home! 😀

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