The branding of a friend….


A friend of mine got threatened a few weeks ago due to his sexual oreinatation.

We had been dancing in a club, away in a corner from the dancefloor, having a great night, the whole group in fancy dress.

Some joker wanders over and suddenly starts having a go at him, even stating to us, who had something to say back, ‘He may be a nice and lovely guy…but…’            BUT WHAT?

What could you possibly say to make that sentence an OK statement?

How do you think you are going to convince me to let you beat the actual crud out of a very dear friend of mine?

Are you about to pull a revelation out of the bag?      Highly doubtful.

It escalated and could have been potentially dangerous for all, but luckily we made it back to the hotel unscathed, but not unaffected.

It hit me hard that someone could have such an issue with somebodies sexuality without even knowing them as a person. They took that one fact and then made an assumption about him.

I was astounded and furious, and I felt so unbelievable let down by humanity.

I also realise now, through conversations that followed early into that morning, how introducing and describing someone could really make them uncomfortable. The same friend finds it difficult to be introduced as..’This is X, my gay friend”.

It isn’t who he is. That’s just a small factor of his makeup, and he’s still the boy I’ve known and adored for 10 years. Nothing has changed, except he kisses boys instead of girls. A minor adjustment in the wonderful tetris creation of a human being.

I know I’ve done it. I say the thing that I think is the most brilliant thing about them when I do introductions so that they can be remembered by others.  “This is Lauren, my posh friend….”, “This is Kate & Tom, our married friends….”

I’ve done it so many times without even thinking.

And I know that isn’t the only fact about them.

I’m lucky to have some amazing friends who are witty, beautiful, talented, vegetarian, omnivores, organised, funny, risk-takers, tea drinkers, 8 hour dance marathoners, chocolate devourers, single, married, in long and short term clinches, but the thing I love most about all my friends is that they are good people.

All of them. Even the most grumpy and bad tempered of the bunch (Hang on…is that me?).

They accept each other for who they are. They love each other for who they are.

And they’d kick ass to keep each other that way.

I just hope that everyone has friends like these.



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