Man Flu – Epidemic or Fantasy?

A thing of myths and legends?

P is sick. I know this from the groaning, the sweating, the refusal of home cooking and general vacant expression. I had considered that he had become a zombie, but due to the lack of ritualistic animal slaughter and P’s death, I naturally came to the Man Flu option.

The same illness that I have been trooping through, has left him totally incapacitated. How does illness do that to men?

Some worried girlfriend research has led me to a few sites that have helped me indentify his symptoms, and I thought I’d pass it on, as it tis the season……

  • He cannot give you a concise breakdown of his symptoms and relies on ‘it hurts everywhere’.
  • His is a competitive ailment, so if you point out you suffered from the same thing but struggled through and recovered he responds: “Oh, but this is much worse.”
  • He retreats to bed or the sofa and appears nervous at the thought of moving, especially when the word ‘work’ is used or if the phrase “get it yourself” is used in anger.
  • He may be found watching daytime programmes such as Jeremy Kyle or playing the Playstation.
  • Men suffering from man flu are often unable to carry out their normal chores. If challenged they may sigh heavily, look martyred and state: “I am ill you know”.
  • The patient may also pore over an A-Z guide to health problems or trawl medical sites on the internet, with a resulting rise in the number and severity of symptoms.

P has long since retreated to the bedroom, getting his sicky Man-Flu all over the bedding, that despite my girlie and obviously inferior flu, I will be washing this evening.


4 responses to “Man Flu – Epidemic or Fantasy?

  1. As we speak, my man is in bed with his own brand of man-disease. Gotta love them and I’m sure your flu was much worse!

  2. You have described my husband so completely that I feel kinda paranoid.
    But at the same time not so alone. I sleep in my office when it gets too bad 🙂

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