How To: Survive a childless trip to Disneyland: My Top 5 Tips

Alright, alright…I know Disneyland is meant for small children, but having never been to visit as a small child, P decided that as my 25th brithday present, I had earned enough good girl points to be taken on a 4-day Disney adventure to France and the world of Mickey and Friends.

I realised very quickly that 95% of people at Disney are there with sprogs in tow, and you do sort of get odd looks and whispers when you appear childless….like you’ve lost yours. So for those heading out to Disney minus little ones, here are my top tips.

1: Go during the week and avoid the Summer Holidays

Well, come on. If you are going without kids, lets face facts. It’s cheaper to go when the kiddies are at school. We went from Thursday to Sunday, and I cannot tell you the difference. Well I can, on Thursday it took us 5 minutes to queue for a ride, that on Sunday had a 80 minute wait. We got more done on Thursday afternoon than we did on BOTH Saturday and Sunday.

2: Get in, Get out.

When you arrive, check in, dump your bags, and head on out. The fact that you aren’t catering your pace for smaller legs or having to lugging a buggy about means that you can truly vamp up the pace between rides.

3: Learn the back routes

There are loads of walkways between lands, and once we had seen the parades, we stuck to these like glue around parade times as Main Street gets so horrendous that you can barely move. It’s amazing how many people stick to the main areas, there is LOADS to explore! This is also a good way to avoid masses of small people during the Fantillusion parade, as Disney shuts down all the lights in the park and some parents forget that kiddies move and aren’t able to be seen by most adults. P began a plan to create a glowstick hat for our future children for this very event.

4: Do what YOU want

If you want to drink large cockatils and then watch the Disney Princesses trog up and down and all over Main Street, do it. If you want to hit up Space Mountain 5 times straight after breakfast, do it. Nobody under 18 (or a height limit) is there to stop you.

5: Check your embarrass-a-trons at the front door

Were P & I the only two adults queuing to meet Mickey without a child? Yes. Were we embarrassed? No. I wanted a picture with Mickey and there was NO WAY I was leaving Disneyland without one.

Push your embarrassment boundaries, you won’t regret it.

I left ‘Crush’s Coaster’ yelling about how much the shark terrified me and it’s a FINDING NEMO ride. FINDING NEMO. 8 year olds laughed at me, but I then got onto rides they were too small for and nobody told me when it was bedtime. Karma.

PS: I have a SERIOUS issue with sharks…for Halloween this year I made P watch horror films and he made me watch a Shark Documentary…I find them scarier than any horror film on the market.

So they are my top 5 tips for going to Disneyland without sprogs. I haven’t included the sensible things like comfy shoes, foot cream, warm clothing (I took legwarmers that doubled up as extra sleeves in the evening) and a good leg stretching regime for each evening, because you should do those with or without darlings of your own.

Any tips for visiting theme parks you’d like to share? Child-friendly or Child-free!


6 responses to “How To: Survive a childless trip to Disneyland: My Top 5 Tips

  1. Wooo Space Mountain !

  2. Yay! Love this! We moved from England to Florida – a mere 40 minutes drive from Disney World. Whenever Joe and I visit, we go crazy . Running around squealing, pestering characters for their autographs, donning Minnie and Mickey Mouse ears. Who says you have to have kids to enjoy Disney? xo

  3. I’ve had five trips to Disneyland, all child-free. Whilst the look on the little ones faces are often magic, I couldn’t stand having a kid to slow me down. My parents actually wouldn’t take us to Disneyland until we were grown up (17 and 19) because they wanted us to be old enough to do everything, last long days in the parks and remember it properly ( We are from Australia so getting to Disneyland was a huge deal).
    I am currently planning to get married in Disneyland in 2013. There will be 20+ of us and the youngest will be 21. I think it will be perfect. Walt Disney knew what he was on about and created Disneyland for adults and children alike. As long as you go on with an open mind and prepared to act a little crazy, it’s amazing!!

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