What an actual week.
I spent the majority of this morning crying in my car due to having a little shunt on route to work. It wasn’t serious…I am actually fine…I made a proper mountain out of a molehill and a mess of my face with recently applied mascara… but it truly felt like the cherry on top of my crapola-ice of the last 5 days.
I have really been MIA from everyone’s life at the moment…for the past 4 weeks I have gone into survival hermit mode where I just grunt and eat. I suck at communicating on a regular basis when I am healthy, so currently I have been bad. I am trying hard to reach out and speak to everyone I love and miss, hopefully they still love me after my long abscence from their lives… things have just become manic here, all the plates I am spinning look seriously wobbly, and I am trying hard to adjust to a new healthy schedule where I actually eat, sleep and function as a human being.
There are such amazing things going on in my favourite people’s lives at the moment; hard, tiring, beautiful and amazing things that make my jaw drop and make me angry at myself for missing them because I can’t regulate myself at the moment.
I know I am playing the smallest violin in the world and busting moves at my very own pity party, but sometimes I feel I need to get it all out before I can restock and start fresh.
So welcome May and a fresh start… a time to delegate, sleep, relax and open my mouth when I need help.