Struggles, schedules and sobbing into your steering wheel

what I wore Sunday lunch date (5)

What an actual week.

I spent the majority of this morning crying in my car due to having a little shunt on route to work. It wasn’t serious…I am actually fine…I made a proper mountain out of a molehill and a mess of my face with recently applied mascara… but it truly felt like the cherry on top of my crapola-ice of the last 5 days.

I have really been MIA from everyone’s life at the moment…for the past 4 weeks I have gone into survival hermit mode where I just grunt and eat. I suck at communicating on a regular basis when I am healthy, so currently I have been bad. I am trying hard to reach out and speak to everyone I love and miss, hopefully they still love me after my long abscence from their lives… things have just become manic here, all the plates I am spinning look seriously wobbly, and I am trying hard to adjust to a new healthy schedule where I actually eat, sleep and function as a human being.

There are such amazing things going on in my favourite people’s lives at the moment; hard, tiring, beautiful and amazing things that make my jaw drop and make me angry at myself for missing them because I can’t regulate myself at the moment.

I know I am playing the smallest violin in the world and busting moves at my very own pity party, but sometimes I feel I need to get it all out before I can restock and start fresh.

So welcome May and a fresh start… a time to delegate, sleep, relax and open my mouth when I need help.

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5 responses to “Struggles, schedules and sobbing into your steering wheel

  1. Please don’t give yourself a hard time – sometimes you need to just focus on keeping the basics of day-to-day life going and anything else (no matter how marvellous it is) can be too much to deal with. Hope things get better soon and I’m glad your prang wasn’t serious 🙂

    • There is often so much expectation to juggle so much! I am cutting back, down and out things that can wait so I can relax and be less intense with myself!

  2. Cut yourself some slack mate, you dont need to be everything to everybody. If you try and be superwoman you will burn yourself out. It wont be the end of the world of one or two of those ‘plates’ gets left to mind itself for a bit. Give yourself some space to deal with one or two of the most important things (Htb, job, house etc) and come back to the other stuff when youve got the energy. People will understand (well the ones worth bothering with anyway) and are probably busy dealing with their own ‘plates’. Do what you can and stop worrying about the rest.
    Right, rant over, glad to hear your accident wasnt serious and sending big hugs. xx

  3. Oh love sounds tough.Def try not to beat yourself up!You sound a bit like me when I’m struggling!I tend to cut down on talking on people,I can’t work out whether it’s to avoid havingto pretend I’m ok or if I have to do it in order to focus on getting through the struggles.Either way,you know what is best for you,and those who love u will understand xx

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