Hello! How are you?
My name’s Katie, aka that bitch who nabbed the owl jumper. I normally blog over at Hook Line & Sink Her, but was thrilled at the opportunity to do a guest post for Bex whilst she’s off having the time of her life on her homeymoon. AKA hanging out with her brand new hubby (eep!), eating leftover wedding cake, snowball fighting with giant tissue pompoms, and wearing His and Hers onesies. After much deliberation, I have decided to write Bex a post offering some words of romantic wisdom to ensure she has a long and happy marriage brimming with giggles and empty of fights about finding month-old smelly socks behind the sofa.
Naturally, I’m not going to let a silly little thing like having no personal experience of marriage, or the fact I’m terrible at giving advice, stand in the way of giving Bex a numbered list of handy hints about how she should totally be living the rest of her life. Mostly because I bloody love lists.
5 Rules for a happy marriage
1. Appreciate their Mad Skillz
Tell your beloved how brilliant they are for doing all the awesome things that make them unique and special. Whether those skills include saving you from savage man-eating spiders (admittedly no bigger than your finger nail, but you’re pretty sure it was carrying a flick-knife), covering your turn to do the washing up when you’ve had a really hard day at work, or eating all the M&Ms so you don’t have to (YOU’RE WELCOME, Tom).
2. Get some perspective
So, they leave their dirty cutlery in the sink instead of putting it into the dishwasher which is right darn next to the sink, or leave their dirty, smelly boy socks all over the house. Sorry, did I mention that one already?
Let’s get a little perspective here, people, and realise that no-one is perfect (that’s right- not even me(!)) and on the scale of Important Things in life does a buttery knife in the sink really matter that much? No.
If you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, at some point you’re going to have to compromise. For example: If he wants a night out, and you want a night in- go to the pub in your pyjamas. Everyone’s a winner. Just remember to wear your fanciest pyjamas if you’re planning to go clubbing afterwards.
4. Write them notes
Whether you pop (embarrassing) Post Its in their lunchbox, or scrawl sweet nothings to your lovebug on the blackboard in your kitchen a la Claire, I think it’s nice to let your love know you’re thinking of them. I like to hide a letter under Tom’s pillow when I go away somewhere without him (for a holiday- not just to work/Tesco). It’s basically exactly like P.S. I Love You, except I’m not Gerard Butler, I’m in Dubrovnik instead of Purgatory, and it does not involve these bum cheeks (shame).
5. Never finish the cheese
Nothing says “I love you” to your other half like making sure there is always cheese left in the fridge, for all those cheddar-based emergencies. Of course, it doesn’t have to be a lot of cheese; you can eat 99% of it yourself, until the piece that is left could fit on the head of a pin, but the important thing is- do NOT be the one to finish it. Who could ever truly love someone forever if they were selfish enough to finish off the cheese?
I can confidently say, if you follow these rules, you will never end up doing this. Ahem.
Happy marriagehood Bex- you’re totally going to ace it!